I spent the better part of yesterday between trying to avoid the reality of the day and tears. Although I did not lose anyone I knew, it has always been a very emotional day for me. I remember that day like it just happened and relive it every year in my mind.
On that fateful morning I was 6 months pregnant and successfully sleeping in until my phone rang. I rolled over and ignored it, then it rang again...ugh! Who would be calling my at this ungodly hour? Don't people realize I am gestating here and trying to get as much sleep as I can before this baby arrives? I lumber out of bed and answer the phone is my VERY best annoyed voice..."ahhh HELLO", it's my mother and she asks me how I can possibly be sleeping with everything that is going on...well mother I'm hatching your grandchild and I'm entitled to a little extra sleep! I look outside our 2nd story apartment window in Fairlawn, NJ and it is a glorious day...you are right, how can I let this day get away from me! I ask her what's going on and why she is up so early and calling me, "turn on the TV, we are under attack"..."huh? Attack, what do you mean?"..."Jody, your father is in the city and I can't get a hold of him, you are the only line I can get out to". I turned on the TV in the mean time, just in time to see the second plane hit and my mother gasp, probably for the second time that day. I told her I would call her back, I needed to get myself together. At the time Ryan and my brother in law were working in Westchester, NY. I needed to call and be sure they were okay and then my sister and the girls. Before that happened my phone rang again, it was my father he was in Lodi, NJ...he stopped at the shop and got held up and never made it into the city that day, but he couldn't get a line through to my mother, so I was going to be the go between. I called my mother and told her my father was okay and still in NJ...one tragedy divered. I spent the balance of that morning on the phone making sure everyone was where they were supposed to be and safe...they were! In the mean time my mother insisted I pack up the dog and come and stay with her, she didn't want me alone and that close to the city. It was days before things got "back to normal" for us, but for others, nothing would ever be the same.
As the days and weeks passed I found myself watching endless hours of coverage, people jumping out of buildings, walking away covered in debris, firefighters in full gear combing the falling buildings, a debis field in PA where a plane went down, families waiting to hear...it was endless and I couldn't stop watching. My heart broke and I cried...I wanted to help but couldn't.
Although a lot has changed since that day, if I close my eyes I can feel the warm sun on my face and the fear in my heart as I watched our lives and skyline change forever.
